I'm sorry for my absence on this blog the past few days. I'm very thankful for the reception of my last post about being in the hospital.
It's a combination of final exams, a changing relationship, disruption of normal routine, and the reality of being a bipolar teenage girl that has thrown me off course. I considered not even blogging today because I still feel like an incoherent mess. But then I thought of the emails I get. The ones that praise me for being strong and compliment my ability to work through tough times gracefully.
I feel the need to show that things are not always beautiful and easy. I need to explain that I'm not a success story. Right now, I feel more like a failure.
I've cried three times today. I've been in and out of bed multiple times, falling asleep all over the house because I have no desire to be awake. I'm irritable and moody and mean to everyone who tries to help. Quite the little cupcake.
I'm not telling you this so that you feel bad for me. My purpose is for you to have a clearer picture of my situation. I mentioned not being a success story before, and I think that is important. Right now, I'm just a work in progress. Yes, I'm taking the right steps and helping myself (and accepting help) the best I can. Setbacks like the ones I'm experiencing now are normal and part of life. As weird as it sounds, it's okay to feel like a failure sometimes.
Awkward PhotoBooth picture. Tears, breakouts, and all. Whatcha gonna do.
The moral of this story is that I'm trying to grow from the experiences I'm having right now, however negative they may be. My hope is that you can do the same. Remember that the people on the Internet have ugly days, too. That they're not only the carefully selected tweets, blog posts, and Instagram pictures. They have scars and freak outs and bad days. So be gentle with yourself.
I toast my water bottle to you, Internet friends. May we have bad days as well as good, weak moments as well as strong, and tears as well as smiles.
(PS I'm sorry if this post is more poorly written than my usual stuff)
So! About this Q&A Announcement!
Starting now, I will be accepting questions for a Mental Health Q&A post on my blog. Any question you've been wanting to ask about bipolar, depression, anxiety, paranoia, medication, mania, hospitalization, therapy, etc will be answered!
(Obviously I'll only be able to answer based on my personal experiences.)
To have your question answered, leave it in the comments (even anonymously) or send an email to:
All honest questions will be answered. Pinky promise.
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Thank you for your kindness, acceptance, and understanding today.
I offer it to you in return.
xoxo
Jenna
